he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize