You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
