How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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