Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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