honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
