He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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