If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
This is my gift to your gina
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
