i wish there were pregnant emoticons
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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