Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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