He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
So many bounce houses so little time
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
