Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
