He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
