Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
