everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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