so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
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