I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
