Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
