how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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