I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
