Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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