this just has baby written all over it
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
