i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
