What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
