yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
