I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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