i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
