My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize