billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Maybe he injected his testicle?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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