First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
