Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
