The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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