The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
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