Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
