Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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