Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I am mentally ready for anal.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize