Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
