If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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