I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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