HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
