My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
After last night, I could never be a politician.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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