Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Randomize
