In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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