You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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