It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
