yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
