it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
