yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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