ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
