and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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