dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize