Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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