Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize