it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize