All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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