you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
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