i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm at about main and main street
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
