just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
