I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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