i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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