She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
