I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
