with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
