end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
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