And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize