you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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