If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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