at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
