After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
