Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
