i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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